By keeping the Body Language Laws in mind, you'll find it much easier to engage in the nonverbal and body language communication that keeps you selling more each year.
Law # 1: You can not communicate nonverbally: Even if you choose to just stand there motionless, you are communicating that you do not want to communicate. Stop thinking in terms of neutrality; you are either communicating something useful for the context, or not so useful.
Law # 2: The Frame determines the game: People are always asking me “What does it mean when someone crosses their arms, blinks rapidly, etc.?” The meaning changes with the context or the situation. Crossed arms by an audience member in a seminar room may simply mean that they are cold. The same gesture by that person when meeting someone new may mean that they are uncomfortable and not overly receptive to new information. To accurately read the body language of someone else, you always have to consider the context, or the frame within which it is occurring.
Law # 3: You can read body language more accurately in clusters: The fact that someone was blinking excessively when they said something could certainly be a sign of deception. However, it may also have been that their allergies were particularly bad on that day. If you watched them talk about the same thing, three different times, and they only blinked excessively one of those times, then chances are good that they were not being deceptive. At the very least, you will not be able to accurately determine whether they were being deceptive, or not, based on their eye blink rate. Look for the signs in clusters.
Law # 4: The little things can be BIG things when you can spot them: Even people who are somewhat trained in the art of concealing their emotions will “leak” their true feelings when you know what to look for. Paul Ekman pioneered this area of facial expressions and calls them “microexpressions.” Lasting, in some instances, only hundredths of a second, to all but the trained eye they go unnoticed. However, when you have trained yourself to see them, these “microexpressions” can give you a real leg up when it comes to reading the real intentions and feelings of others.
Law # 5: Body language exposures the gap between what they are saying and what they really feel: Politicians are notorious for saying one thing with their words, and something quite different, or quite the opposite with their body language. But they are not alone. We do the same thing when we tell someone we'd really love to come to their party, when in reality, we have no desire whatsoever. If you tell a prospect something that you do not yet believe yourself, you'll be “leaking” your true feelings nonverbally in most cases. Being able to detect this in others is only one half of the equation; the other half is learning to use it to your advantage with your own communication.
© Copyright 2008-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.